Well, I started my last infusion treatment and chemo yesterday ( I might now do just chemo) and after 3 previous treatments, I know now what to expect, it'll be rough for a while. But I know how to get comfortable and my amazing wife takes such good care of me! My MRI looks good, stable. I also have my full body scans coming up in a couple weeks. Those will tell us a lot about what lies ahead, these are the ones we've been anticipating for a long time, and it's almost here.
It's so amazing and a little strange, what I have missed over the past months. I miss the gym, you know where you go to work yourself to exhaustion and can't move the next day, I miss that. I miss cleaning the house, I can do a solid once over! I miss work, I love my job and who I work with, I have never been more excited to get back!!!! I miss little things that mean nothing to most but mean the world to me.
Over the past months, it has been easy for me to stay very positive, because I had something to look forward to. Golf tourney, crossfit, etc, etc.!!!! With each event I was touched, inspired, humbled and it was truly easy to fight. After the dust settled, and there were no more events, I jokingly asked my wife "now what"? I didn't mean what's the next event or anything like that, but for us......"now what"? All those events were amazing, they lifted me like no other, but I always knew it would come to an end, and I would need to have another motivation. And I do, my motivation is trust! I trust that the prayers haven't stopped in my family's behalf, I trust that people have bettered their lives to draw faith for me. I trust that my sweet little babies will continue to be lifted by love and faith from others as they watch their Daddy fight. I trust that my sweet, gentle wife can draw on the powers of Heaven. I trust that the miracles will continue. I trust, that as I go through this trial, I can fully understand that I chose this plan, and I was ready to fight with integrity and loyalty to my Heavenly Father. But most important for me, I have to trust that when its not the easiest day, and I kneel in prayer, my words are being heard and I will be comforted. Events will come and go, but I will battle on because I trust, and I always will. Thank you all for helping me trust and fight. I love you!!!
My Family
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
UPDATE
Hello Everybody, I wanted to give a quick update. I am currently in the middle of my 3rd round of infusion and 2nd round of chemo. It is a little bit of a behind kicker! :) I am really tired and weak, any energy I have quickly leaves after a shower or a trip to the grocery store. It's ok though, I'm willing to do what it takes to see the results I want. Just like anything in life I guess!! I had a visit with my radiation oncologist to discuss the results of my first MRI since I was diagnosed. It went pretty well! For now, the number of masses have decreased and the Dr. was "very happy", (as happy as Doctors get,:) ) I have one more treatment for this round and some more tests coming up. The full body scan results are the ones I'm praying for. Fingers Crossed! Once again, I want to thank everyone who have lifted my family. Hundreds!!! I pray for you all to be blessed, the love and help we have received has NOT gone unnoticed!
I have had a lot go through my mind the past few months, I read, I study, and I found a quote that I love. It's small, but to the point. It says: "No misfortune is so bad that whining about it won't make it worse"! I absolutely love that! I look back on the things I used to complain about, or make big deals about, or stress about, and to be honest, I'm a little embarrassed. Life is meant to be lived with trials, heartache, challenges, difficulties, but not meant to complain about!! There is ALWAYS someone worse off than me. There is always someone going through something I would never want to. Let's all pocket the complaints for awhile and look to someone who needs a good word or compliment. I have cancer, but I know so many people who have much more difficult things they are going through. So if you hear me whine, smack me a little and wake me up, because I have blessings pouring down from heaven......we ALL do! Thank you for your prayers, they are truly felt!!!!
I have had a lot go through my mind the past few months, I read, I study, and I found a quote that I love. It's small, but to the point. It says: "No misfortune is so bad that whining about it won't make it worse"! I absolutely love that! I look back on the things I used to complain about, or make big deals about, or stress about, and to be honest, I'm a little embarrassed. Life is meant to be lived with trials, heartache, challenges, difficulties, but not meant to complain about!! There is ALWAYS someone worse off than me. There is always someone going through something I would never want to. Let's all pocket the complaints for awhile and look to someone who needs a good word or compliment. I have cancer, but I know so many people who have much more difficult things they are going through. So if you hear me whine, smack me a little and wake me up, because I have blessings pouring down from heaven......we ALL do! Thank you for your prayers, they are truly felt!!!!
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Only One Set
The past week or so has been amazing! We had the first annual Team Tommy golf tourney which was a huge success and we also had the 5k for my sister in law and myself, also amazing. It's so humbling to see the support from so many loving, thoughtful, and selfless people. Saying thank you is the only thing I can do because I cant even start to give back my love and appreciation to so many people. So, Thank You!!
I need to share something that made the week even more special. I am in the process of going through 2 treatments right now, and I've got to say, it kicked my behind a little bit. I was in bed for about a week straight. The golf tourney was on a Tuesday, and my worst day by far was on the previous Monday. I was pretty sick, tired, weak, and earlier my wife and I decided that I would just show up for a few minutes at the start of the tourney and go to my parents and sleep, and then come back for the final few minutes. This was Saturday and Sunday. By Monday I had told my wife that there is no way I can go. She even called my Mom, without me knowing, and said just go on with the tourney, but that I most likely wouldn't be there. I was sad. I wanted to be there, see people, get out. But it wasn't looking good. I prayed. I prayed hard. When I woke up on Tuesday, things were different, I felt different. I had some strength, I felt like I could at least go for the beginning. I got up, and got ready. I got to the course and as soon as I stepped out of the car, I had strength beyond my own. I was able to stay for the entire event. Now, this seems small, but I need to tell you, it wasn't! I was immediately reminded of the famous "Footprints" poem:
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord,
‘You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?’
The Lord replied,
‘The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you.’
I look at this poem a lot different now. We can all relate with the thoughts of the person dreaming, "this is hard", "where are you", "I can't do this" and many other things that we may have said in this life's journey. But have we forgotten where we come from and who's we are? One of my favorite scriptures reads: "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me, for I m meek and lowly in heart, and ye shall find rest unto your souls, For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
I didn't want to go to the golf event to watch golf. I wanted to go for exactly what happened. I had friends, family and strangers look me in the eyes and tell me they love me, tell me they are praying for me. I was lifted by people who put their own world aside for a moment to make mine better. I was carried, and I needed that. Their was one set of prints that day, I could not do that on my own, it was impossible. I was being carried that entire day. As a matter of fact, when I look back "in the sand" from the day I was diagnosed, there has been only one set of prints. I am so blessed! I truly, truly love all of you. You have know idea what you have meant to my family and myself. Please, all of you, look back and notice the times there have been one set of prints. We are children of a loving Father, he doesn't leave us alone! Thanks everyone!! I love you!
I need to share something that made the week even more special. I am in the process of going through 2 treatments right now, and I've got to say, it kicked my behind a little bit. I was in bed for about a week straight. The golf tourney was on a Tuesday, and my worst day by far was on the previous Monday. I was pretty sick, tired, weak, and earlier my wife and I decided that I would just show up for a few minutes at the start of the tourney and go to my parents and sleep, and then come back for the final few minutes. This was Saturday and Sunday. By Monday I had told my wife that there is no way I can go. She even called my Mom, without me knowing, and said just go on with the tourney, but that I most likely wouldn't be there. I was sad. I wanted to be there, see people, get out. But it wasn't looking good. I prayed. I prayed hard. When I woke up on Tuesday, things were different, I felt different. I had some strength, I felt like I could at least go for the beginning. I got up, and got ready. I got to the course and as soon as I stepped out of the car, I had strength beyond my own. I was able to stay for the entire event. Now, this seems small, but I need to tell you, it wasn't! I was immediately reminded of the famous "Footprints" poem:
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord,
‘You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?’
The Lord replied,
‘The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you.’
I look at this poem a lot different now. We can all relate with the thoughts of the person dreaming, "this is hard", "where are you", "I can't do this" and many other things that we may have said in this life's journey. But have we forgotten where we come from and who's we are? One of my favorite scriptures reads: "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me, for I m meek and lowly in heart, and ye shall find rest unto your souls, For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
I didn't want to go to the golf event to watch golf. I wanted to go for exactly what happened. I had friends, family and strangers look me in the eyes and tell me they love me, tell me they are praying for me. I was lifted by people who put their own world aside for a moment to make mine better. I was carried, and I needed that. Their was one set of prints that day, I could not do that on my own, it was impossible. I was being carried that entire day. As a matter of fact, when I look back "in the sand" from the day I was diagnosed, there has been only one set of prints. I am so blessed! I truly, truly love all of you. You have know idea what you have meant to my family and myself. Please, all of you, look back and notice the times there have been one set of prints. We are children of a loving Father, he doesn't leave us alone! Thanks everyone!! I love you!
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