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Faith

I apologize, it has been a little while.  A few things have happened since I last posted.  I have been having scans every 3 or 4 months for awhile now.  On Monday, my birthday I had scans again and on Tuesday the day of the results the scans were clean....again!  They also moved me out to 6 months instead of 3 or 4!  It is amazing news......right?  At least it should be.  I am overwhelmed with what has happened since I was told I have a year to live!!  I really am.  It is really tough for my mind to wrap around the fact that I had over 100 tumors in my brain, was supposed to have an extremely shortened life, and now there is NED (no evidence of disease)  Nothing is there!  My Doctor said he had to go back to my older scans to remember how bad it really was.  A miracle!  There is no other explanation to it.  It is a MIRACLE!!  I believe this with all my heart.  I know this is true.  Now, that being said, I wasn't as "excited" as i should have been when I saw the scans, I was confused and I even felt more anxiety when I was told the scans will be moved out 6 months.  All the "what ifs"  enter my mind.  What if It comes back in a month and I don't have scan for 5 more months and its too late?  What if I get another form of cancer because my immune system is off?  You know, things like that.  After I met with my Doctor about scan results, I met with a psychiatrist, It was OK but he did say something that did make a little sense, he said "many times, patients who have gone through the extreme roller-coaster of emotions and ups and downs, struggle just as much after cancer as they do during cancer, they feel like a ticking time bomb".  I was told I have to manage my stress?  Um, OK.  Manage my stress?  I have cancer and will always be considered stage 4, I just found out two weeks ago that my heart has some issues, which we learned about after I had a stroke!  So, manage my stress?  Good one!! :-) The reason I bring all this up because the answer to having success and getting through any situation we are in is Faith!  Faith that my loving Heavenly Father and his Son, know exactly what we are going through, and can and always will lift us through our lives, which are sometimes really, REALLY hard!  I know I have been lifted, even carried through my trials and pain, and frustration and sorrow, but I know that my Heavenly Father doesn't give me anything I cant handle, gracefully and courageously, with His love and help!  I can do hard things, I really can, and so can all of you!  I will continue to fight whatever this mortal live throws at me, because it helps us grow and refines our spirits.  All that is expected of us is to lift someone else, who is struggling or hurting!!  Pay it forward!   I am sorry I am rambling but I have had a lot on my mind!  Thank you all for your love, prayers, support, and Faith!  We Got this!  Til we meet again!!