How are you REALLY doing??

I would be very ungrateful if I didn't first say Thank You to EVERYONE!!  I can't even express the love, kindness, generosity, support, words, and prayers.  It has lifted and sustained my life and has significantly blessed my wife and kids!!  I love you all!!

It's been an amazing few days and I have learned how selfless people are, people willing to do everything for someone else!  How do you thank people like that, how do you give back?  I'm so in the hole with saying thank you, or sending my love to people the I feel unworthy of my blessings.  I was able to go to dinner and secure an eternal friendship with some very amazing people, I graduated the first bout of radiation!!!!!  Get that mask away from me!!!  I went up to a fundraiser in Ogden at a crossfit gym, and I was blown away, not only at the physical specimens, but at there love and support to me and my family, they treated me like a brother, they hugged me, they cried with me, they took their bodies to the limit and came straight to me and hugged me.  People who didn't need to be there, people that finished not matter what for me, a little sister who went absolutely beast mode to finish and she did with tears in her eyes and I was able to cry with her and thank her!!  I had my wife and kids going through heck and didn't stop, didn't quit!!  How do you thank someone for that?
I was able to go through the Temple with some family members and it was one of the most spiritual and emotional sessions!!  Families are forever!!!! It was Father's Day and I got to think of my amazing Dad who has done everything in his power to make my life better. I got to look at MY fatherhood, how stinking blessed I am, 4 amazing children who have changed my life and giving me my supreme honor of being a Father!!!  I also got to think of my Heavenly Father, I can't even begin to express my love and humility!  I was able to go to work a few times for a bit, I love my company,  I am part of their family and they make me feel that way!  I started Chemo with my infusion, met with the Dr. and he was very, very pleased with my attitude and progress!! It was a busy few days!!

Now, the question my family and I are asked a bunch ( usually behind my back)!! " How are you REALLY doing?? You know, like I'm lying or faking, :))! I'm going to get personal for minute and I apologize.  When I say "I'm good". I mean it!  Let me tell you why.  I am a child of God and he has sent  me here, I'm an offspring of Deity!  I agreed to ANYTHING The Lord would put in my path because the only way I can be like Him is to go through my trials like he wants me too, with Faith, with Hope, with integrity!  With courage!!   I have cancer, but people go through MUCH, MUCH worse and I would be an ungrateful servant to pout and whine about myself!! I'm honored, that my Eternal Father in Heaven trusts little old me, with this opportunity to grow, see miracles, have my family unified,  meet heroes who have battled long before myself, flip my world upside down to see what life, family, and the eternities are really all about! I cannot and WILL NOT throw my hands in the air and say "why me?" I am not going to disgrace the Plan of Happiness that I agreed to!!  My family, my wife, my kids, my friends and many others are watching, it is my obligation to "lift where I stand!!"  I'm not in this alone, not for a second!! So, for anyone wondering, "how are you Really doing?""  I am a Child of God, I have NOTHING to complain about!!  I love you all!!  WE GOT THIS!!!

S.T.A.N.D.

A few years ago my amazing daughter blew me away with an idea where her and her friends wanted to set some very high goals that they had to really work and strive for to achieve.  They had categories of service, scripture study and memorization, temple attendance, service projects, etc.  The challenge was called S.T.A.N.D. Which means "Stay True And Never Doubt"!!  I loved it , they worked there tails off and I immediately saw a difference in my daughters attitude and personality, she was doing things that made her a better person, she was changing!  I was so proud of her and her friends and they were a huge example to many!!

I have thought of the STAND concept many, many times since then.  I have thought that with the garbage, heartache, pain, discouragement, etc, that this life throws at us,what if we all choose to STAND?? Stay True And Never Doubt?  Can we do this?  What does it even mean? First, Stay True. You can't stay anywhere, until to are already there.  To stay fit, you must get fit, to stay spiritual, you must get spiritual, to stay strong minded, you must get strong minded.  So, to Stay True, you just become true, find and keep standards, honor your name and your family name with integrity, take a stance, be a leader that doesn't falter......Stay True!!  Next, Never Doubt!  Wen you are true, and you are living that life, Never Doubt!!  Never doubt that people are watching and will help, never doubt that people want and need someone to follow, never doubt that you WILL be lifted in moments of pain and trial! Never doubt, that when the going gets rough, and you feel like your life is falling apart, you will be carried because you FIRST, chose to STAND!!!  It's easy for me to write this, because I have seen people STAND in my life and I have been touched and humbled!!  I have had individuals, with hard exteriors, STAND and tell me they love me and are sorry for my trials, I have looked into people's eyes where I could see they had so much pain in their own lives, smile at me with a melting smile and allowed me to feel their love, I have seen individuals STAND for me even financially, when I know that pennies are being pinched for them!  My perspective in life is different, life is fragile and my kids need people who they grow up watching do things that are pure and good!  We need to lift others if they can't STAND,  and stay with them until they can do it on there own, and once they can we find another, and lift them!  I can't express what my family has seen, felt,  and witnessed!  I am deciding to STAND!  Please, all of you amazing people in my corner, keep STANDING, the world is good because of you!  Let's STAND together, if a handful of 12 year old girls can do it, we all can!!!  S.T.A.N.D.!!!  I love you all!!  We got this!!

I'm ready now!

I want to start off this entry by first thanking so many people who allowed my wife and I to get away for a night and then come back to an "upgraded" bedroom which feels so warm to be in.....my amazing family!  They have gone above and beyond the call!  Thank you and I love you!!!

While my wife and I were away for a night we had a chance to go to a movie.  This movie is not a box office explosion or well known, it's not one that many people will see.  As a matter of fact we saw it because it was the only one playing at the time we could go.  It's called Ephraim's Rescue.  It's a church movie and I'm so glad we went.  It's a story of a man who went to rescue one of the handcart company's that got caught in the winter.  It was so humbling to see what people went through to make my life better so many years later.  There was a scene that I loved, a group of men were assembled and were asked who could go help this company, men, woman, and children, caught in the snow.  One man strongly said " I can get prepared and be ready Thursday", another man said "I can be ready in 3 days", both very willing to go and very sincere.  However, Ephraim raised his hand and with amazing conviction said " Brother, I am ready NOW!"  It was strange the flood of emotion that came over we at that moment and as I write this now, am I ready now to help? To grow? To follow the right path? For hard things? For blessings?  If I were called right this minute to do something hard or inconvenient, would I say " I'm ready next Thursday", or do I stand, put everything aside and say " I'm ready NOW"?  I know that the past month I have had hundreds of people through their efforts, service, and love show me and my family that they are ready.....NOW!!  I'm so grateful for those people, who have made it a priority in there lives to be ready, who are looking for ways to serve, who put aside their own comforts to "be ready".  I want to be like so many of you, and I am determined to "get ready" for anything that I am called to do!!  Thank you all, I love you deeply!  We got this!!!