"Because of Him"

April 27th 2013 was a year ago today.  It was a Saturday and I was getting ready to play in a golf tournament with my brother Daniel.  We love to golf, especially with family.  I woke up excited, jumped into the shower, and my day quickly changed from a mindset of, "what score will win it" or "lets go low" to "what is this huge lump in my armpit"?  My world changed.  In the blink of an eye, it seemed, I was meeting with doctors, having surgeries, waiting on results, more doctors, scans, etc. etc.!  I was diagnosed with advanced stage IV melanoma, and it was in my brain!  I started Radiation, Chemo, and infusion treatments.  I got sick, I lost a lot of weight, I was in bed all day, I had to go to Huntsman for many appointments and for some emergencies, hospitals, new doctors, no appetite, trying to eat but couldn't, putting water on my lips and getting nauseas, being so dizzy and fatigued that trips to the bathroom were a nightmare, fever, scarred, emotional.  Scary time frames or averages concerning how much "time" I had left.  I have cancer, I fought and fight hard, I knew that somehow, someway, even in the darkest moments, that this wasn't it.  Now, with all the above being said, I wouldn't change it for the world!  I saw miracles!  My life is a miracle, I had spiritual experiences that have strengthened me and lifted me.  My wife and I have had so many tender experiences.  I have seen my family come together, perhaps like no other time in our lives and grow and help me! I saw wards, new and old, show me service like I haven't ever felt, an entire community supporting me and my fight.  I saw employers, blessing my life and my families, and love me like their own.  I saw and felt the Hand of my Brother, Jesus Christ carry me, never leaving my side.  I wouldn't change any of it, it has made me better, I hope permanently!  :) 

My recent scans came back great!  There is some "new" junk that showed up in my bowels that my Dr. is 99% sure isn't cancer, but will watch closely.  I haven't gained much weight back, if any, but I'm getting stronger.  I go to the gym, I eat healthier.  I had to get cancer to get my rear in shape, and my body is more of a temple to me now than any other time in my life.  Cancer caught me off guard, it came at a time in my life when I was very unhealthy.  Worst shape of my life.  It whooped me....big time!!  Now, I have a reason.  I took life for granted, I let my body go, my health go, even having a wife and kids didn't shape me up.   But, if the cancer comes back for some more fights, I'm going to do all that I can to have my body ready!!

We just celebrated Easter.  Candy, and eggs and bunnies, etc!  But we try and focus on the Resurrection of our Savior!  I love knowing that I will live again after this life and be with my sweet wife and kids for eternity!  I love the story of Jesus visiting the tomb when Mary is there.  I cant imagine the feelings she had.  He wouldn't let her touch him yet because he hadn't visited the Father yet.  But my favorite phrase in the scriptures of this story is right after he says he needs to visit his Father.  "go to my brethren and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father and to your Father, and to my God and to your God". (John 20:17)In this simple verse we learn, not only are we all children of a loving Heavenly Father who is God, but the Savior of all mankind, who suffered and died for our sins, pains, and heartaches, is indeed our Brother!  My Brother!  I know my battle isn't over, but "because of Him, I'm not afraid of death, because of Him I can be a husband and Daddy forever, because of Him I can be clean, because of Him I can do hard things, because of Him I have faith, because of Him I will fight and endure, because of Him I have EVERYTHING!!" Thank you for your faith, prayers, fasting and love for my family and I!!!  Til we meet again!!  We got this!!